Going to smush Leiko’s with Vin’s ask (who asked for Leiko).
YEAH. BASICALLY EXACTLY THAT.
A few days ago, when I was going through old-old letters (much like the one I’m writing now, but back when everyone had reblogged the meme and were participating) I came across one of the letters to you, from another person. It was from November, in 2011, when you weren’t yet at the height of your (more recent) misery, and more than a year before you’d be free of that misery, they wrote to you:
I suggest that if you find something or someone you’re passionate about- don’t push it away, keep it close to you and give your all to it.
I remember at the time how absurd I thought that was. How utterly ridiculous the idea of you being passionate about someone in a constructive way was. I thought the letter was nice, of course, I just thought it would never happen. I don’t think you ever thought it would happen either. After all, you’ve lived through so many millennium and you’ve never found someone to be passionate about in a way that didn’t involve hate. And you’ve gotten good at hating, too. To the point where even if you sort of liked someone or found them interesting you sought to destroy them, partly out of need, partly out of that being what you knew how to do.
And yet here we are, you’ve come so far. You’ve proved both of us wrong. It’s nice to not have your worser emotions as a plague on my mind, it’s nice to see and feel you so content with another individual, it’s wonderful to see you start to open up to someone, to let them peek a little at the horrors that make up your being. It’s amazing to feel you shake with the emotion and effort of getting out an ‘I love you.’ It never fails to make me smile.
You’re still pessimistic about this relationship, and I guess I am too. We’re both firm in the belief that everything is transitory, so we both know that things don’t last forever, people change, people die, the world changes. Regardless, I do hope that this relationship will last longer than you anticipate, I hope you two can grow and learn together for a long time. I hope that when, eventually, you two go your separate ways, it’s on good terms.
Lots of love,
You can basically answer this yourself, if you really wanted to, by looking at old asks. Not that you have to, and there isn’t much more besides those two, but they DO PRETTY WELL encapsulate my outlook on Veene’s potential for relationships before Siidhi happened.
Oh, do they ever fight. When they fight they fight hardcore.
They talk about just about anything. About people they know and people they knew; Places they’ve been and places they’d like to go; Things they’ve done and things they’d like to do together; Their ideas and thoughts on some philosophies and issues; Fears new and old. You know, ‘stuff.’
They only do each other, that is all. They dance, and talk, and sometimes lay about doing nothing for hours.
They spend most of their time in or around one of Veene’s houses, or at the Gavet household. But Qatu and Veene very much enjoy showing each other places of importance or places that are just nice somehow.
If Qatu were asleep and Veene walked in and Veene didn’t have to wake him up for anything important he’d go and cook first. Probably something spicy or something drenched in messy spicy sauce. He’d eat a bit of it, get it on his hands and face enough to be noticeable. Then snuggle in next to Qatu (hiding the remaining food behind him or something), aura-nudge him awake and pretend he didn’t and be all “Oh! You’re finally awake, good morning. I made breakfast but I didn’t want it getting cold so I ate it myself while I was waiting. Shame, too, it was your favourite - you could always lick the remaining sauce off of me.” just to be a massive tease. IF Qatu did actually try to lick the sauce off of him Veene would LAUGH AND GIVE UP THE FOOD but if he didn’t Veene would EVENTUALLY give up the food anyway, repeat his good morning properly and lick off his fingers and lips. (THOUGH this is only really good for one use, but if he ever does this he’ll come up with something equally stupid next time.)
If he had to get Qatu up for something he’d just kiss his face and tell him to wake up, and give him a good morning once he did and tell him WHY HE IS BEING AWOKEN.
If they were sleeping together Veene wouldn’t wake up before him, unless Veene just hadn’t slept (which is possible) but in that case he’d just let Qatu rest and enjoy the snuggling.
I’m not sure any amount of ‘steps’ taken would make Veene more trusting, I kind of think he’s too far flung in the ‘never trust anyone’ spectrum to be anything close to a normal person in terms of trust.
Sometimes (and this hasn’t happened in a long time) he meets someone who he manages to trust - not completely, I don’t know if he’s ever really trusted anyone completely - and sometimes that goes well and other times it doesn’t. It’s rare for that to happen, and it seems to happen less and less frequently (not that it was frequent to begin with) as time goes on.
/fails to answer question.
I’m always participating in CSS, even on days that aren’t Sunday. In all seriousness you can ask me anything whenever you want. Is that why you’re on anon?
But to answer your question:
Sometimes. Though more frequently lately than usual.
I think Aly has said before (and I think she’s the only one who’s said this so it may just be her) that he comes off as being old as hell in the way he handles things and talks and whatnot. Despite that he doesn’t always really ‘feel old’.
He knows he’s old, the things he knows and the things that shape his actions and mannerisms are based on more experiences than a short lifespan would allow, and he carries all that around with him all the time, but he doesn’t feel old in the same way he knows he’s old.
I’m not really sure how to describe it beyond that. Sometimes he feels weary, and sometimes, on top of that, a touch overwhelmed by everything in the past, and in those moments he really feels old.
The only thing I can think of that’s semi-related and might help explain it is that most adults I’ve spoken to who are reaching the end of the ‘adult’ age bracket and are pushing into ‘senior citizen’ tend to say the same thing - that they still ‘feel’ like they’re in their early twenties or late teens mentally, some of them even go so far as to say they’ll be surprised by their reflection on occasion because they still feel like their younger self should be looking at them, not this old person. It’s sort of like that.
I was about to say that the appearance thing isn’t an issue, but Veene has had a lot of ‘default’ human appearances and sometimes he’ll wind up in the wrong one and wind up seeing himself reflected somewhere and get sort of surprised to see that form, or he’ll be wearing the right one but will be expecting an older one and still get surprised.
I hope that answers your question! Thank you for asking. Seriously if you have anything you want to know, just ask!