I’m not sure I actually understood it, but it involves butts and buying so I’m going to say it’s canon (for Neil, anyway).
Just leaves a cigarette inside with a card “To help you think of me” no signature.
This would happen.
JUST GONNA STAND HERE AND WATCH ME BURN.
THAT’S ALRIGHT, BECAUSE I LIKE THE WAY IT HURTS.
SHE WOULD, TOO, AND SHE’D KILL ANYONE WHO SPOKE OUT ABOUT IT.
I can see this happening.
Once upon a time, for the thousandth time, there was a djinni and a parahuman.
The parahuman was Ilrosos, and his djinni ‘friend’ was Neil.
Neil had always been different, and Ilrosos knew that. For starters, he was one of the few boyfriends of Vynettia who stayed around for more than a day. Second, he actually got along well with Artye, and third, well, he had managed to woo everyone to the point Artye allowed him to live with the family.
Ilrosos had sighed in annoyance when he learned the djinni would be living with them. It was bad enough already, they were a big family. Now it got bigger, and with that, Neil didn’t seem to know how to keep his space.
Ever since Neil had walked in on him and Dartak having an intimate moment, he wouldn’t leave him alone. When they were alone, he would ask, “Do you do that often…?” He would be grinning, the whole time, as if the possibility itself excited him.
He was of course, referring to their more, ahem, ‘kinky’ acts, involved various blades.
And now, ever since Neil had found out, he wouldn’t leave him alone. At the dinner table, the djinni kept batting his eyelashes at him from across the table. He’d seductively would suck on the head of asparagus, which totally was not reference to a bad novel about a BDSM relationship.
And this time, Neil tried a little something else.
Ilrosos had finished eating dinner, and was now going back to his room. He opened the door, expecting just to see the normal (if you could call his room that)
Which, it mostly was. Save for the naked Neil currently laying on his bed in lingerie. “Hello there, handsome.” Neil turned on his back and stretched out, quite obviously showing off his frilly package. “I already took to laying out your knives….” He gestured over with his head to the bedside table, “I am ready when you are.”
Ilrosos on the other hand, simply just stared. Not only was this a complete breach of privacy, but he was pretty sure that was Dartak’s lingerie.
A few awkward moments of silence passed, and with each second, Neil would strike a different pose. Each pose would show off his junk in some form, and he’d always make the most ridiculous faces. Ilrosos didn’t know if he was trying to seduce him, or make him laugh.
But eventually, Neil pouted, and rolled onto his stomach, “Why haven’t you taken me yet?” He didn’t let Ilrosos answer, but put a finger to his chin and hummed, before anouncing he had an idea with a small aha! “Ah, I see! This isn’t your thing, is it?” And before Ilrosos’ very eyes, Neil suddenly lost his dick and instead got a kawaii vagina, and some kawaii breasts, “How about now, big boy?” Another wink, “Or maybe…” He went through different species, such as a tentacle monster, some really fat elven thing with spirals on its face, some lion boy, and the list only went on.
Eventually, Neil turned himself as a blanket, and laid himself across the bed sheets, “Or if you dont wanna have sex, we can just cuddle this way. I’ll wrap around you and keep you warm.” Yet another wink.
Ilrosos for once, found himself disturbed.
“Right,” Ilrosos turned, “I am leaving.”
And the parahuman did just that. He opened the door, and walked out.
Neil stayed on Ilrosos’ bed for a long time, pouting. Only as a blanket, so it was a thousand times weirder.
Maybe the face was a little too much.
And then they lived unhappily ever after, well, Ilrosos did anyways. Neil just decided to stay as a blanket for all eternity, and when Dartak and Ilrosos got it on, well…
The end. UwU
This is perfect.
im laughing so hard it hurts
u okay buddy